My (Fantasy Football) Pet Peeves: Just Sayin’

Unorganized people in line at Wawa. People who don’t turn off their turn signal after they change lanes. Guys who use the middle stall at work. “PC Load Letter”.  People who only tip 15%.

Those are some of my “Personal Pets Peeve’s” and you are that much deeper into the beautiful mind of Franics J. Capriotti. It will probably get more bizarre as we get to know each other.   I have been involved with fantasy football for close to 10 years now and I remember my first fantasy draft like it was yesterday. At good old Widener U, I made my first draft selection ever in my fantasy football career. It was none other than Ricky Williams. I’d do anything to have a copy of that first draft I ever did and see all the horrible decisions I made. Combine that with the fact that there were many Natural Lights being passed around we can all imagine what that draft sheet looked like at the end of the night. If I had to guess what my writing looked like, I’d say it was a mix between a drunken lawyer and an ugly school nurse. A colorful mess I must say. But beginning with that night, I started to learn what I loved about fantasy football and what I HATED with fantasy football. It’s easy to point out things we love about it; the smack talk between friends, the exectution of the perfect trade and the rewarding feeling every Tuesday morning knowing your team dominated. However, this post isn’t about all the great things about fantasy football we like, but the things we all hate. Hopefully, if you are one of the scoundrels that are often committing the following fantasy no-no’s, you will soon learn to mind your P’s and Q’s.

That Guy

5. That Guy

We have all heard the stories. We all know a guy that thinks its okay to be dishonest because “that’s what happens in the NFL”. The guy who makes trade an offer that is so offending, that you don’t even want to respond, but feel like you should so the rest of the league is aware of what crumb is up to. I’m talking about the type of guy that will take advantage of a new owner to the league because, “They got to learn somehow.”  Now, I personally don’t have people in any of my leagues that do these types of things, but I have heard the stories and I don’t necessarily think that these are tactics that are wrong, but they are tactics that I refuse to use. With that said, there is the type of tactic that someone known as “That Guy” would use. The scenario would be when Owner “X” submits a trade offer to “That Guy” and “That Guy” just sits on the offer. Doesn’t accept it. Doesn’t decline it.  He (or she which would make her “That Girl” which is hot) just waits. Then 4 or 5 weeks later “That Guy” accepts the offer because the landscape involving the players in the deal has change whether it is due to performance or situation. That simple is not cool. I don’t even need to go into why, but in situations like this, make sure you check with any owner before accepting a trade to keep peace within the league. Due your league a favor and wipe these guys out like the plague.

4.   The Speed Bump

The typical draft should only take about 3 hours give or take 20 minutes depending on the size of the league and amount of rounds you decide to go. The first couple rounds tend to fly by and then the middle rounds it starts slowing down. The last 3 or 4 rounds really drag and some leeway is given for various reasons. However, draft with an owner who take 3,4,5 minutes each time that draft are known in my area as “Speed Bumps”. The league will start rolling along with 4, 5 or 6 picks in a row where everyone picks within a minute, and then you get the Speed Bump who slows the whole night down and single-handedly adds 30-40 minutes to the night. Worst part is, the other owners pick up on this and expect 4 or 5 minutes when it comes to their pick. Bottom line, fantasy drafts are supposed to be fun but there is nothing fun about 5 or 6 hour drafts. Speed Bumps are BRUTAL!!

Complaining Man
3. The Complainer

The waiver’s process isn’t fair.  That trade isn’t fair.  The scoring system is dumb.  My girlfriend dumped me. I’m living in a tent. Blah, blah, blah and on and on and on.

Without going into much detail, this might be the type of guy who takes out the most fun throughout the year. The Complainer will fill up your inbox with dumb, baseless complaints which in turn causes the commissioner to spend an entire Wednesday afternoon explaining why something is set up a certain way. As a commissioner, you almost need to set an alarm every Wednesday to be prepared for a complaint. How depressing right? I for one refuse to allow people in my leagues who do this and I am currently free of this disease. Relax ladies, I’m spoken for.

2.  The Overbearing ADD/DROP Guy

Adding and dropping players on a constant basis is fine. I feel that it should be something that is unlimited in every league, but for the owners out there that decide to add a guy Tuesday and then drop that same guy Wednesday, I just got to ask, why?  Why would you do that? I mean are you that unorganized that you don’t know what you want?  Are you paranoid? Do you need help? Please give me an explanation because if you are dangerous mentally in any way, I need to know now. I can either be your commish or your therapist, just ask for some help buddy.

Thought this was pretty cool so why not?

1.  The Guy Who Doesn’t  Set His Line-Up

Fantasy Football is supposed to be fun.  It’s about guys getting together, drinking beers and having a day of it. It’s about make-believe that you are actual the General Manager of a team and that your decisions during the draft, off-season and week will consummate into either a win or loss.  It’s about bragging right’s at then next party.  However, in about 99% of the leagues there is a financial award given to the winner and maybe even the runner’s up. To get there it is an agonizing 13 weeks.  Up’s and down’s.  Injuries and stars.  Most owners invest a lot of time into it and really want to have a shot in the play-offs. Then there are the owners who 6 or 7 weeks in decide that their team is out of it after starting 2-5 and are done with the season. Problem is that, first, you aren’t out of it.  It is the heart of the bye week portion of the season so teams can really surge ahead or fall back IF you pay attention. If an owner doesn’t set their line-up for the last couple weeks because their out of it you may actually be taking the fun out of it for just one owner and that’s the owner who needs you to win in week 13 so that they can get a bye or maybe even make the play-offs.  Eliminating the fun for just one owner is probably worse than eliminating it for everyone. Keep the integrity of the league alive and set your line-up every week. Who knows, maybe you’ll make the play-offs (possibly have some fun) and play-offs is a whole new season.

Want to hear of my ridiculous thoughts?

Follow me on Twitter @TheFrankCap


2 responses

  1. Dude, how could you forget the commissioner who tries to change rules after a season starts… Or the guy who only ever makes trades with the same 1 or 2 people out of 12 every year, leading you to question their sexuality (not that there is anything wrong with that)… Or the guy who just never responds to trade offers one way or the other- doesn’t respond to emails- makes smoke come out of my ears.

    1. Believe me Shay, they were on the list but I didn’t want to call that commish out on the site. And I know you still love telling your buddies my infamous story still, “I’ll give you that $5 when you come over here and take it out of my pocket” or something like that.

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